What does feeling confident actually look like?
We hear a lot of talk about confidence, increasing our confidence, boosting our confidence but what does that actually mean?
The dictionary defines confident as “feeling or showing confidence in oneself or one's abilities or qualities” and as “feeling or showing certainty about something.”
It really boils down to self-belief and self-acceptance.
Once we fully accept ourselves and know we are enough, where we are, doing what we do, we can feel confident and certain in ourselves – even if there are things we want to change and goals we are moving towards. As humans we are constantly changing, learning and growing.
Being a confidence coach, my mission is to support you and women like you, to feel this. To be certain that you are enough as you are.
So why do we lack confidence?
Feeling less than confident in ourselves can establish itself for all sorts of reasons.
Things people have said to you.
Experiences you’ve had where maybe things haven’t gone quite according to plan.
Expectations put upon you – whether these are real or perceived.
Changes in your life situation – kids growing up and leaving home, ageing, a life-shock.
Feeling that your body is wrong.
These are a few examples.
Basically, it’s a sense that you don’t quite fit, you’re not quite doing it right (whatever it is!)
This is often based on our perception of a situation. Judging yourself for decisions you’ve made not appreciating that they were the right decisions for you. Thinking that your life choices are not as significant or valuable as the people around you – if it’s your choice that’s what matters. It’s appreciating that we’re all different and whether a fulfilling life for you is a home-based quiet life or off climbing Everest it’s the recognition that it’s fulfilling for you is key. What Nancy down the road does with her life, to be blunt, is irrelevant.
In my upcoming workshop I will be sharing tools I used to find confidence in me. To accept myself and to consciously realise that my life and living MY best life is what is paramount – not living up to what I perceive expectations to be or what I feel like I should be doing.
What effect will having confidence bring?
Reaching a place of confidence and acceptance in yourself you:
are more likely to take part,
to say yes to new opportunities,
to feel that what you do is what's important, not what you feel you should do,
trust your decisions,
not worry about what other people think of you or what you do,
feel able to wear what you want,
feel able to do what you want,
and much more...
This therefore will lead you to feel more fulfilled in your life, that you’re living as you desire and creating the life you want. Your courage to embrace new opportunities will grow and each time you trust yourself to try something different your confidence grows too. New things can be anything – a physical challenge, talking to new people, taking up a class, sitting in a café on your own – anything that will add to your life.
My desire is that you become a participator in your life, not a spectator on the side-lines. That you create your life, it doesn’t just happen to you. That your decisions and choices are made from a place of confidence and acceptance, not fear and believing you’re not good enough.
Read more about the changes it has made to my life here.