5 Tips to Age Gracefully (or disgracefully if you prefer)
What does the term “age gracefully” mean to you? For me, there are a couple of explanations that spring to mind. Firstly, an image of a lady of a certain age in twin set and pearls, sipping a cup of tea (in a cup and saucer) and fulfilling societal expectations (imagine the Queen in The Crown). The other explanation and my preferred one is ageing in a way that is not a crisis, not chaotic but graceful – relaxed and smooth. This doesn’t mean we aren’t ourselves, or living our lives the way we want, but that we are in flow, aligned and on the whole enjoying the experience – and that can be loud and boisterous or quiet and slow depending on our preference at any given time!
In this blog, I’m going to outline 5 ways you can age gracefully according to the second explanation I outlined above. I’m not a twin set and pearls kind of gal (anyone who knows me will concur) but that doesn’t mean my life cannot be graceful for me.
1. Midlife/ageing can often feel like a midlife crisis due to feeling that life is passing us by. It can feel like time is running out and we’ve left it too late to do what we want to do. But hang on a minute. MID means middle – we’ve hopefully still got time in front of us. Yes, we’ve probably got less in front than we’ve had but it is not too late to make changes, to create the life we want.
It’s a time when we can reflect and reevaluate which can be unsettling and feel like a crisis but if we just pause, take a breath we can work out what we want more of in our life and what we want to be doing less of. We’re then able to work out how to take action to bring more of what we want in.
2. Midlife can bring with it a lot of changes when it can feel it’s impossible to age gracefully. Hormonal changes with perimenopause can be intense and difficult to navigate but this is not all midlife is about. If you need support with the symptoms you are facing, reach out and ask. There are so many resources available online and with the opening up of the conversation over the last couple of years, and major changes this year, perimenopause symptoms are a hot topic at the moment. Your GP is there to support and help and a great place to start with support on doing this is this article on henpicked.net.
Our role can often change at this time in life too. If we’ve had children it may be that they are growing up and preparing to leave home, go to university, spread their wings as it were. This can leave us wondering what’s next for us, feeling redundant but that is not the case. Plan for this. Look on it as a time of opportunity, or possibility. If you’ve built your life around family this can be an ideal time to turn inwards and think about if what you’re doing every day is what you now want to be doing or if you want to change. It can be a great time to try something new, learn a new skill or spend time doing the things you love that has been restricted due to family commitments.
This is not to negate all you have done before but to take advantage of the opportunities the change in circumstance now gives us.
3. Midlife can be a time where we can reach the confidence to feel comfortable in our own skin. To not worry so much about what others think of us. Reaching this stage can help us age gracefully as we are less anxious about others opinions and feel more able to speak our minds, say what we want and learn to prioritise our own self-care, goals and dreams. It’s a time to realise that your desires are valid – whether that’s to go off and climb Everest or to live a quiet life. If it’s your dream that’s what’s important. It’s your life so create the life you want.
4. It’s time to finally let go of those limiting thoughts that hold you back. The stories you believe about yourself that stop you taking action, that stop you feeling confident in yourself and that keep you playing small, not going after what you want. Taking the time to learn to navigate these thoughts and work with them can keep you in flow, feel calmer and less conflicted – da da aging gracefully. These thoughts/stories are often not true and with no evidence to back them up. We believe them because we have thought them for what feels like forever and accepted them as truth. Read more about this here. This is one of the biggest transformations my clients have - letting go of the thoughts that have held them back. The thoughts that have limited their self-belief. The freedom moving through these brings is amazing to see. The growth in their self-belief and self-love is transformative.
“A belief is just a thought you keep on thinking.”
— ABRAHAM HICKS
5. Finally, it’s up to you if you age gracefully or disgracefully. As in the introduction what could be considered disgraceful behaviour for someone of a certain age could be you living your life in grace! Be you and acknowledge what you want. It’s time to let go of the expectations, perceived or real, of how you should be living.
For me, this quote from Hunter S Thompson sums up how I want to arrive😂
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
— HUNTER S THOMPSON